Farming in the City

I'm living in a tiny apartment now, in the middle of a city that's made out to look like the woods. I won't go into all of that right now. The apartment is comfortable, but there is a real lack of space outdoors. I feel claustrophobic and lonely much of the time. I don't make friends easily and the people around are all old folks with little overweight spoiled dogs who try to attack my dog. Most of the residents' only interest seems to be bingo. I'm not a bingo type of person. I miss my farm and animals and garden with an ache in my heart.

I've been really depressed and unable to sleep the past couple of weeks. This week I bought three plants (and ordered one) to add to my growing collection on the balcony. I really couldn't afford to buy plants but they taught me something. I made plans for where two plants are going to go and made hanger for one plant and repotted another. Still waiting for the one on order.

When I came inside, I realized that for the first time in a while I felt happy. Sometimes music does that, but sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not practicing enough. Moss, the border collie makes me happy, but sometimes I feel guilty because we're not doing enough. But with the plants, I don't have any guilt. I do check on them every day because I like to. I arrange them as best I can because I like looking at them. I put out a saucer of water for the lizards and a feeder for the hummingbirds because I like watching them. And I am learning about bonzai and growing vegetables in containers.

This afternoon, I will practice music and play with Moss. And work on the new vegetable planter.

Catchup

The previous posts were just before I ended up in the hospital. I was not only diagnosed with type 2 diabetes but was septic.
My sister hadn't heard from me in a while and even tried to call. I barely remember the conversation. She called my cousin, who lives an hour and a half away. She drove up, grabbed my hand and hauled me to the nearest hospital. I don't remember big gaps of time. Woke up in ICU. Having hallucinations.
I spent almost 2 months in the hospital. Not the best time of my life.

Almost Normal

It is just the weirdest sensation, to feel sick without real symptoms. Today I feel that sense of relief that one feels when the morning brings a certainty of a good day. I still feel weak, but not so dizzy and no chills running up and down my spine. I did shuffle out to trudge with the dogs and realized when I got home, I actually forgot to make coffee. Still haven't had any. I did have breakfast though.
I also found an exercise online that is supposed to help with the balance issue. It's not vertigo.
The room doesn't spin. It's more like being drunk. When you look up or down and loose your balance. (I'm not drunk. Haven't even had a beer in ages.) I'm convinced it's an inner ear thing.
I also realized that there is another jam session I can go to this evening. I just put in an hour on the bass and after lunch a little ukulele....

More Symptoms

Today was another one of those strange days. I woke up, checked myself, and thought I felt fine. Took the dogs out for their game of frisbee and came home and took a nap. Drat.
I really had to go to the grocery store so off I went. I was feeling weak and shaky as I went down the aisles.
Came home and took another nap.
Now my face feels flushed. I have no appetite. I've only had two pieces of toast and one smoothie and it's 3.30. When I do eat something, it feels like a lump in my stomach.
My plan was to spend the day practicing. Didn't happen.

A Strange Malady

I have not had so much as a cold for years. I don't know why, other than I'm not exposed to other people much.
But lately, I have had some strange symptoms. For one thing, some days all I can do is sleep. And I mean really sleep. I can sleep 11 hours at night and take a one hour nap during the day. During those days, I'm hardly able to do the things that need to get done. I wonder if I have chronic fatigue syndrome.
Then the next day I will feel fine.
A couple of days ago, I had what I can only describe as chills. It wasn't severe, in fact, it was barely noticeable but all I wanted to do was to curl up in bed.
The next day I felt fine but spent the day in bed reading.
I'm noticing that I just don't have much appetite as well as little motivation to make anything to eat.
Last night I had a good long sleep, but was woken up several times by fireworks. I got up early, had a drink of milk as is my custom and shortly after, barfed it up. That was a surprise. Now I'm feeling better and am looking forward to practicing.

Noise and Noisier

Now that the AC and fans are off, I'm back to being kept awake by conversations outside at 6 am. It's not loud enough or close enough to make out the words, but it's definately a conversation.
When I first moved here the noise drove me crazy. I was used to quiet with only the occasional moose or coyote sounding off. Now I'm bombarded with noise - loud vehicles, motorcycles and people warming up their trucks (even in summer) people talking and yelling, and roar of  the park lawnmower and tractor. It still drives me nuts but I've managed to ignore most of it.
Depressing.

Why I Don't Always Finish Projects

My music stand was falling apart. At last Saturday's jam  it dumped my music book on the floor, popping open the rings and pages were everywhere. I decided it was time for a new music stand.
I like the wire ones because they fold up and fit in my music bag, and if I'm on bass, I can raise the book so I can see it. So I went into the music store where we were playing and bought a new stand. It seemed more substantial than my old one.
At a rehearsal today, I pulled out my new stand and set the music book on it. It promptly flipped the book over backwards. I couldn't tighten it enough to hold the music book upright. The guy next to me "helped" by cranking it so tight I thought he was going to strip it right out. I think I'm returning it. I'm giving up on wire music stands.
I have seen some nifty looking stands that are built like a folding stool. The book sits in the fabric and there's no way it can flip over or tip. I thought I could make one out of pvc pipe.

On the way home today I stopped at a box hardware store. I don't like these stores because it's so hard to find what you need but it was right on the way. I walked to one corner of the store to find pvc pipe, wandered around some more to find the corner pieces I needed and then back to the opposite corner to find two bolts. Of course none of the workers there will ever stop to help a customer.
When I got home I realized that I needed two more feet of pvc. And the bolts were too short. And one of the corner pieces was a three-way piece. Sigh.

I assembled the parts that I had just to see if it was going to work. I still needed to find some fabric for it. I found a weaving piece I had done that I didn't really have a use for. Turns out, it is exactly the right size for the stand. Now I just need to sew a hem on each end to slide over the pvc. I do have a little battery operated sewing machine that I haven't used in a while.  Of course I don't have any batteries on hand....I could charge some up or buy some. But wait....I got my weeks confused and I'm going to be out of  money for gas for the last week. I really wanted to go to the fourth Saturday jam this month. I might not make it.
Meanwhile, I will need a stand for Thursday's nursing home performance. Or just sit next to someone with a book.