Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Farming in the City

I'm living in a tiny apartment now, in the middle of a city that's made out to look like the woods. I won't go into all of that right now. The apartment is comfortable, but there is a real lack of space outdoors. I feel claustrophobic and lonely much of the time. I don't make friends easily and the people around are all old folks with little overweight spoiled dogs who try to attack my dog. Most of the residents' only interest seems to be bingo. I'm not a bingo type of person. I miss my farm and animals and garden with an ache in my heart.

I've been really depressed and unable to sleep the past couple of weeks. This week I bought three plants (and ordered one) to add to my growing collection on the balcony. I really couldn't afford to buy plants but they taught me something. I made plans for where two plants are going to go and made hanger for one plant and repotted another. Still waiting for the one on order.

When I came inside, I realized that for the first time in a while I felt happy. Sometimes music does that, but sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not practicing enough. Moss, the border collie makes me happy, but sometimes I feel guilty because we're not doing enough. But with the plants, I don't have any guilt. I do check on them every day because I like to. I arrange them as best I can because I like looking at them. I put out a saucer of water for the lizards and a feeder for the hummingbirds because I like watching them. And I am learning about bonzai and growing vegetables in containers.

This afternoon, I will practice music and play with Moss. And work on the new vegetable planter.


The previous posts were just before I ended up in the hospital. I was not only diagnosed with type 2 diabetes but was septic.
My sister hadn't heard from me in a while and even tried to call. I barely remember the conversation. She called my cousin, who lives an hour and a half away. She drove up, grabbed my hand and hauled me to the nearest hospital. I don't remember big gaps of time. Woke up in ICU. Having hallucinations.
I spent almost 2 months in the hospital. Not the best time of my life.