So many people talk about how great it is to lighten your load and clean out your stuff. They're right, of course, but sometimes it goes beyond cleaning out and becomes a loss. I've lost plenty.
When I moved to the camper parked in a driveway in Canaan, NH, I gave up my house, not that I had much choice in the matter. Seven of my beloved dogs died during the 9 years that I lived there. I had to leave their little graves behind.
I left behind a woodstove, a studio, my rifle, tools and my garden. I had spent hours working on my garden. I had turned a rocky driveway into a lush bed for my perennials and vegetables. I was still waiting for some of my trees and bushes to bloom. I invited all my friends to come dig up whatever they wanted.
I had to find homes for the livestock.
I gave the ducks to a friend of mine. I was sad to let them go, but she was into ducks and we had shared a few before. I knew she would pamper them.
I sent the pony on a free lease. I’d had him for almost 20 years. He was a wonderful little guy who loved to drive in the cart. We had made it our tradition to go out for a drive every Christmas when there wasn’t snow on the ground. I won’t be taking him back now.
I sold all but three of my sheep. I still miss my lovely, sweet tempered ram, Handy. He really was handsome with his silver grey merino fleece and huge curling horns. I hope he and his girls have a good home.
I sold my goats. The woman who took some of them came back to get a couple more. She seemed really nice and caring so I asked her if she wanted the Angora buck for free because he had such bad feet problems. I still cry when I think about loading him in the back of her car. Some animals are just too special. It just hurts too much.
I kept three ewes for fleece and for my dogs to work. My landlady took two pygora wethers. I was given a llama and an alpaca. I only had them for one summer, but I fell in love with the llama. He was just beautiful and so gentle. I still have some of his fleece.
While I lived in Canaan, three more of my dogs died. I had to leave their little graves behind when we left for Texas. I gave my sheep to the woman who had given me the lamas and returned them to her as well. I miss the oldest ewe the most. She had a wonderful fleece, was great for the dogs to practice herding with and easy for me to deal with.
I still miss the llama terribly. I never even got a good picture of him.
I sold two of my weaving looms. I gave away more stuff and sold anything I couldn’t carry in the truck and camper. I lost another studio full of materials that made it possible for me to do what I love.
I left behind all my friends.
I’m down to two dogs now. One is getting old. I was given a pup just about a year ago. I didn’t want to take on another dog, but realized I won’t have the older one that much longer. I can’t be without a dog. I’d be too lonely
I’ve sacrificed plenty. I can’t see that it has made my life any better.