Trying to pack

I do need to pack up my nifty new purple suitcase on wheels. Having the energy to pack is another matter. I just sat down to wait for a friend to bring me some advil since I woke up with a toothache this morning. It's better now but I feel asleep as soon as I sat down.
Been doing that a lot.
Trying to work on genealogy but can't stay very focused.

11 am and I haven't managed to get my eyes really open. Haven't taken my pills. I did get Moss out and we both had breakfast and then I went back to sleep. Better get those pills down now.
I did get laundry done yesterday. Now I need to fold and put away. My ass hurts. I'm losing muscle tone again and it hurts to sit on hard bone. Pillows don't even help.
Now that I've complained, more ice cream and yogurt. I can't even face going to the store and hoping L will be around this weekend to pick up a few things. Then off to the hospital on Monday morn.

Man. I'm just terminally tired. All the time. Shuffling from one room to another is a major undertaking. I didn't expect to be so tired so soon, but here I am.
And the hair is starting to go already too. Not that I'm too upset. I expected that. Guess I'm getting a wig and I do like my heavy scarf. So I'll get by.
Wish I could do something useful though. I am sleeping alot which feels good. Some days are better than others.

Feeling more and more tired everyday. Had no idea how weak and sleepy I would be. Barely made it out to get Moss out for his morning constitutional. He's such a good boy and just waited for me. He wasted no time once we got out there though.

I'm due to go back into the hospital Monday for another round of chemo and whatnot. Home Health care workers are supposed to come help me out. I can't seem to keep up with cleaning this place.

Starting to lose some hair. I actually think it's kinda funny. Not bald yet but I can see it coming. Ha.

Well, It has Happened.

I've been diagnosed with a brain tumor - naturally.

I'm better now that I'm on steroids for swelling. I was a bit confused and forgetful for a while. A week in the hospital did me good. Glad to be home now though. My dear sister is here and taking care of appointments that I would ignore....and we get to play some music in the evenings.

Farming in the City

I'm living in a tiny apartment now, in the middle of a city that's made out to look like the woods. I won't go into all of that right now. The apartment is comfortable, but there is a real lack of space outdoors. I feel claustrophobic and lonely much of the time. I don't make friends easily and the people around are all old folks with little overweight spoiled dogs who try to attack my dog. Most of the residents' only interest seems to be bingo. I'm not a bingo type of person. I miss my farm and animals and garden with an ache in my heart.

I've been really depressed and unable to sleep the past couple of weeks. This week I bought three plants (and ordered one) to add to my growing collection on the balcony. I really couldn't afford to buy plants but they taught me something. I made plans for where two plants are going to go and made hanger for one plant and repotted another. Still waiting for the one on order.

When I came inside, I realized that for the first time in a while I felt happy. Sometimes music does that, but sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not practicing enough. Moss, the border collie makes me happy, but sometimes I feel guilty because we're not doing enough. But with the plants, I don't have any guilt. I do check on them every day because I like to. I arrange them as best I can because I like looking at them. I put out a saucer of water for the lizards and a feeder for the hummingbirds because I like watching them. And I am learning about bonzai and growing vegetables in containers.

This afternoon, I will practice music and play with Moss. And work on the new vegetable planter.

Catchup

The previous posts were just before I ended up in the hospital. I was not only diagnosed with type 2 diabetes but was septic.
My sister hadn't heard from me in a while and even tried to call. I barely remember the conversation. She called my cousin, who lives an hour and a half away. She drove up, grabbed my hand and hauled me to the nearest hospital. I don't remember big gaps of time. Woke up in ICU. Having hallucinations.
I spent almost 2 months in the hospital. Not the best time of my life.

Almost Normal

It is just the weirdest sensation, to feel sick without real symptoms. Today I feel that sense of relief that one feels when the morning brings a certainty of a good day. I still feel weak, but not so dizzy and no chills running up and down my spine. I did shuffle out to trudge with the dogs and realized when I got home, I actually forgot to make coffee. Still haven't had any. I did have breakfast though.
I also found an exercise online that is supposed to help with the balance issue. It's not vertigo.
The room doesn't spin. It's more like being drunk. When you look up or down and loose your balance. (I'm not drunk. Haven't even had a beer in ages.) I'm convinced it's an inner ear thing.
I also realized that there is another jam session I can go to this evening. I just put in an hour on the bass and after lunch a little ukulele....

More Symptoms

Today was another one of those strange days. I woke up, checked myself, and thought I felt fine. Took the dogs out for their game of frisbee and came home and took a nap. Drat.
I really had to go to the grocery store so off I went. I was feeling weak and shaky as I went down the aisles.
Came home and took another nap.
Now my face feels flushed. I have no appetite. I've only had two pieces of toast and one smoothie and it's 3.30. When I do eat something, it feels like a lump in my stomach.
My plan was to spend the day practicing. Didn't happen.

A Strange Malady

I have not had so much as a cold for years. I don't know why, other than I'm not exposed to other people much.
But lately, I have had some strange symptoms. For one thing, some days all I can do is sleep. And I mean really sleep. I can sleep 11 hours at night and take a one hour nap during the day. During those days, I'm hardly able to do the things that need to get done. I wonder if I have chronic fatigue syndrome.
Then the next day I will feel fine.
A couple of days ago, I had what I can only describe as chills. It wasn't severe, in fact, it was barely noticeable but all I wanted to do was to curl up in bed.
The next day I felt fine but spent the day in bed reading.
I'm noticing that I just don't have much appetite as well as little motivation to make anything to eat.
Last night I had a good long sleep, but was woken up several times by fireworks. I got up early, had a drink of milk as is my custom and shortly after, barfed it up. That was a surprise. Now I'm feeling better and am looking forward to practicing.

Noise and Noisier

Now that the AC and fans are off, I'm back to being kept awake by conversations outside at 6 am. It's not loud enough or close enough to make out the words, but it's definately a conversation.
When I first moved here the noise drove me crazy. I was used to quiet with only the occasional moose or coyote sounding off. Now I'm bombarded with noise - loud vehicles, motorcycles and people warming up their trucks (even in summer) people talking and yelling, and roar of  the park lawnmower and tractor. It still drives me nuts but I've managed to ignore most of it.
Depressing.

Why I Don't Always Finish Projects

My music stand was falling apart. At last Saturday's jam  it dumped my music book on the floor, popping open the rings and pages were everywhere. I decided it was time for a new music stand.
I like the wire ones because they fold up and fit in my music bag, and if I'm on bass, I can raise the book so I can see it. So I went into the music store where we were playing and bought a new stand. It seemed more substantial than my old one.
At a rehearsal today, I pulled out my new stand and set the music book on it. It promptly flipped the book over backwards. I couldn't tighten it enough to hold the music book upright. The guy next to me "helped" by cranking it so tight I thought he was going to strip it right out. I think I'm returning it. I'm giving up on wire music stands.
I have seen some nifty looking stands that are built like a folding stool. The book sits in the fabric and there's no way it can flip over or tip. I thought I could make one out of pvc pipe.

On the way home today I stopped at a box hardware store. I don't like these stores because it's so hard to find what you need but it was right on the way. I walked to one corner of the store to find pvc pipe, wandered around some more to find the corner pieces I needed and then back to the opposite corner to find two bolts. Of course none of the workers there will ever stop to help a customer.
When I got home I realized that I needed two more feet of pvc. And the bolts were too short. And one of the corner pieces was a three-way piece. Sigh.

I assembled the parts that I had just to see if it was going to work. I still needed to find some fabric for it. I found a weaving piece I had done that I didn't really have a use for. Turns out, it is exactly the right size for the stand. Now I just need to sew a hem on each end to slide over the pvc. I do have a little battery operated sewing machine that I haven't used in a while.  Of course I don't have any batteries on hand....I could charge some up or buy some. But wait....I got my weeks confused and I'm going to be out of  money for gas for the last week. I really wanted to go to the fourth Saturday jam this month. I might not make it.
Meanwhile, I will need a stand for Thursday's nursing home performance. Or just sit next to someone with a book.

Shelves and Such

Contrary to appearances, I haven't been totally lax lately. I've been finishing up some projects that have taken more time than they should have.

I've been very inspired by the articles I've read online about narrow shelves. I finally more or less finished some of my own between the bathroom door (big mirror) and the dog crate. 
I didn't do the best job of woodworking but it's up for now. It keeps wanting to slide away from the wall even though it's tight at the top.


Eating Area

Another project I'd been planning to do for ages was making a breakfast tray.
The only places I have to sit is at the computer (no free desk space here...) or on the bed.

It doesn't fold and I have to move it around but it gives me a place to eat and read a book without food slopping on the floor or worse, on the bed. 

   

Bedside Shelf

For the past couple of years I had been wanting some place to set my book and glasses when I'm ready to sleep. Currently, I've had to almost get out of bed to set them on the dresser that is at the foot of the bed. I tried some hanging bags and other arrangements but they were all unsatisfactory. I also wanted a tiny space to set a cup of coffee if I wanted to sit on the bed and read. The problem was to have something small enough that I wouldn't be crashing into it.

My neighbors pulled a corner shelf out of their camper and gave it to me. It was much to large for my camper and I had no corners that it would have fit into. I cut the top off and hung it upside down by the bed. PERFECT. I can't wait to go to bed tonight and try it out.

Longing for Home

I had no idea that I would love it out here this much. I love the sky and being able to see for miles. I love the dry air and the almost constant breeze. (Gets a little out of hand sometimes though.) I love prickly pear syrup that I've made from the prickly pear cactus around the homestead.

I would love to have some land even if it was further west. Any place to call home. But land is still out of my reach. I don't know if I'll ever have a house to live in again. I'm not getting any younger.

Reappearance

I've been away traveling to Gouldbusk, Texas. I'm staying on a ranch caring for animals while my friends are away. I just LOVE it here. It does get hot, but I've yet to really break a sweat. At home I'd be sweating in front of the AC. There's almost always a stiff breeze blowing.

This is the house I'm staying in. Notice the two front doors. It was purchased in 1930 from a Sears and Roebuck catalog. It does have an addition on the left side of a bedroom and bath. It's really an adorable house.

Day 34 A Quiet One

Spent the day working on genealogy stuff. If you're curious, I have a blog about that too.

The Pettey Family Search

Day 33 - Fire Ants

Fire ant attack. I hate the little suckers. I step off the pavement to let a car go by and this is what happens. Not only do they sting when they are on you, but it itches for days and days afterwards. The only thing I've found that lets me get some sleep is applying milk of  magnesia to the bumps.
Anyone have some perfect (and cheap) remedies?

Edit: I'm trying some vinegar and baking soda on a rag wrapped around my ankles. Working pretty well.

Day 32 Jumping with Joy

Feeling energetic today. Swept the floor, made the bed, worked on my Zazzle store, transcribed for Genealogy Trails and even played the dulcimer and jammed on Skype with my sister. But the real excitement was finally getting the life vest for my old dog, Doc.
I lugged the vest, tennis balls, my camera and tripod down to the boat launch to tape the guys in the water. Moss is making some great dives off the dock.
Hop on over to my dog blog to see it HERE.

Day 31 - Tank Top Day

Feeling a little more energized today. It was hot though. I've been looking at tank tops online that are made from tee shirts. I have plenty of old tee shirts, but the ones I've tried have been baggy or look great on a younger person, not so much on me.
I found this idea which is tied shoulder straps. I don't know that I'd go to the grocery store in it, but it's cool and comfortable and I can answer the door and still be dressed.
One of these days I'll save up and buy a sewing machine. I could do a lot with all the unwearable clothes I've got laying around taking up space.

Day 30 So Tiredddddd

Days like this would worry me if I had the energy. I overslept by an hour and a half. Took the dogs out and had to nap when we got back. I've worked a little on the computer but haven't practiced at all. Drifted off again while reading.
Granted it has been a cloudy rainy day, but still.....