Trying to pack

I do need to pack up my nifty new purple suitcase on wheels. Having the energy to pack is another matter. I just sat down to wait for a friend to bring me some advil since I woke up with a toothache this morning. It's better now but I feel asleep as soon as I sat down.
Been doing that a lot.
Trying to work on genealogy but can't stay very focused.

11 am and I haven't managed to get my eyes really open. Haven't taken my pills. I did get Moss out and we both had breakfast and then I went back to sleep. Better get those pills down now.
I did get laundry done yesterday. Now I need to fold and put away. My ass hurts. I'm losing muscle tone again and it hurts to sit on hard bone. Pillows don't even help.
Now that I've complained, more ice cream and yogurt. I can't even face going to the store and hoping L will be around this weekend to pick up a few things. Then off to the hospital on Monday morn.

Man. I'm just terminally tired. All the time. Shuffling from one room to another is a major undertaking. I didn't expect to be so tired so soon, but here I am.
And the hair is starting to go already too. Not that I'm too upset. I expected that. Guess I'm getting a wig and I do like my heavy scarf. So I'll get by.
Wish I could do something useful though. I am sleeping alot which feels good. Some days are better than others.

Feeling more and more tired everyday. Had no idea how weak and sleepy I would be. Barely made it out to get Moss out for his morning constitutional. He's such a good boy and just waited for me. He wasted no time once we got out there though.

I'm due to go back into the hospital Monday for another round of chemo and whatnot. Home Health care workers are supposed to come help me out. I can't seem to keep up with cleaning this place.

Starting to lose some hair. I actually think it's kinda funny. Not bald yet but I can see it coming. Ha.

Well, It has Happened.

I've been diagnosed with a brain tumor - naturally.

I'm better now that I'm on steroids for swelling. I was a bit confused and forgetful for a while. A week in the hospital did me good. Glad to be home now though. My dear sister is here and taking care of appointments that I would ignore....and we get to play some music in the evenings.

Farming in the City

I'm living in a tiny apartment now, in the middle of a city that's made out to look like the woods. I won't go into all of that right now. The apartment is comfortable, but there is a real lack of space outdoors. I feel claustrophobic and lonely much of the time. I don't make friends easily and the people around are all old folks with little overweight spoiled dogs who try to attack my dog. Most of the residents' only interest seems to be bingo. I'm not a bingo type of person. I miss my farm and animals and garden with an ache in my heart.

I've been really depressed and unable to sleep the past couple of weeks. This week I bought three plants (and ordered one) to add to my growing collection on the balcony. I really couldn't afford to buy plants but they taught me something. I made plans for where two plants are going to go and made hanger for one plant and repotted another. Still waiting for the one on order.

When I came inside, I realized that for the first time in a while I felt happy. Sometimes music does that, but sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not practicing enough. Moss, the border collie makes me happy, but sometimes I feel guilty because we're not doing enough. But with the plants, I don't have any guilt. I do check on them every day because I like to. I arrange them as best I can because I like looking at them. I put out a saucer of water for the lizards and a feeder for the hummingbirds because I like watching them. And I am learning about bonzai and growing vegetables in containers.

This afternoon, I will practice music and play with Moss. And work on the new vegetable planter.

Catchup

The previous posts were just before I ended up in the hospital. I was not only diagnosed with type 2 diabetes but was septic.
My sister hadn't heard from me in a while and even tried to call. I barely remember the conversation. She called my cousin, who lives an hour and a half away. She drove up, grabbed my hand and hauled me to the nearest hospital. I don't remember big gaps of time. Woke up in ICU. Having hallucinations.
I spent almost 2 months in the hospital. Not the best time of my life.